18 August 2010

Over-Educated Undead

I think grad school might be a species of zombie. 

1) If one is in grad school, one must write a dissertation.
2) Dissertations will eventually take over your inner running commentary; you will eventually realise that you are losing your ability to think about non-dissertation things and your ability to make complete sentences out loud.  Groaning constitutes a large part of your discourse.
3) Monomania, the inability to make complete sentences and the increase of groaning are all indicators that one's brain is being eaten.
4)If it is a thing that eats brains, it is a zombie.
5) Dissertations are brain eating things. 2, 3 Hypothetical Syllogism
6) Grad school is a brain eating thing. 1, 5 Hypothetical Syllogism
Therefore, Grad school is a species of zombie.  6, 4 Hypothetical Syllogism

Proof: I love logic.  Brain eating ceases 5pm 1 September.  Wish me luck!


  1. Premise 4 is the most questionable one, I think, but I sure did have fun putting it together.