It's always a disorganised new year here at my house, I've realised. I enjoy putting off things that I don't want to do and the endless bank holidaying when nothing is open for days on end is an ideal time to do so. It never fails to catch up with me and send me into a tizzy but I have this year officially declared said tizzy to be a holiday tradition, which means it is now my duty to be display as appalling a lack of organisation as I can in the first full week of postal delivery in the new year. I am, so far, doing a bang up job of keeping the tradition.
I'm in a terrible mood at the moment but for once I'm fairly sure that it's not due to mental health conditions that are beyond my control. Yes, similar symptoms but in its totality it feels different. This is absolutely not a scientific distinction. It is an instinct that may be wrong. However, I can see actual reasons and circumstances that I know are making me unhappy and may of which I can actually do something about. I don't have enough energy to do anything just at the moment but happily some of these circumstances will come to a natural end with the start of term. I don't have to do anything to bring about the start of term, just get myself through the next few days. I can do that.
So this is my new year's first project: to try to sift out how and whether I can successfully distinguish between a bad mood due to circumstances and a depressed mood due to bipolar disorder and wherein the difference lies. I'm going to get back to Foucault, too, I promise.
Happy New Year!
I've been simularly disorganised and inert this past week. We have 8 inches of snow here. Most of the schools are closed and the local shops have run out of bread/milk/fruif & veg. I've heard it called 'snowmageddon' on the news this morning!
ReplyDeleteThe suspension of all these facilities and services has greatly assisted my lethagy and the postponing of most of the semi-important, regular business I should be getting on with. Enjoyable for a time but now I'm beginning to feel a little anxious and dislocated although I'm about to go in to work for the first time this year and face my 'to-do' list - eek!It will no doubt be a shock but hopefully will galvanise me back into engagement!
The bad mood vs depression is not unlike the bad-night vs insomnia comparison you mentioned in my comments. They're qualitively different and the former, generally speaking, has a recognisable cause.Usually all it takes to shift it is a minor change in circumstances.
Well I hope you feel better soon and if you have snow then I recommend getting outside in it. I find the brightness and the temporary concealment of grey concrete to be quite elavating.
Hope the difficult mood lifts soon.
K.x
If only we did have real snow I would be out in it in a flash! We have had just enough snow to make the trains stop working but not enough to play in. Maybe tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good likening - bad mood vs. depression, bad night vs. insomnia. I'm going to think of it that way. I do actually feel substantially better today and I'm spending the day working on a presentation for Monday morning, laying plans for next week and reading some Woolf - a pleasant enough day to be sure.
Hope things are at least tolerable your end - throw some snowballs for me!